Tuesday, September 29, 2009


WaterwayImage by paul.derry via Flickr

Dh and I spent a weekend away. The kids spent that time with my parents and apparently they had a blast.

It was so difficult for us not to talk about the kids while away, trying to relax. We are so used to talk about the children that we forget to share our thoughts with each other.

Daily routine takes over our lives. We hardly have time to check with ourselves, that we forget to check with our partners.

We enjoyed our time together immensly.

We ate out, enjoyed each other's company, but always with that shadow that indicated that someone is missing: our kids.

We are back now, and at least I, feel refreshed. I needed a break from school, homeworks and daily obligations to face them with love and energy.

Thanks dearest husband for taking me away for a few days.

I love you dearly.
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Monday, September 21, 2009

Generation Next?

teenagersImage by Feuillu via Flickr

After the first subject I taught today, my students had a lecture with some guys from "Emprende México".

I was hoping I was going to be able to get off as soon as the lecture started, but the principal's assistant said that I had to stay with my girls for the length of my class.

I stayed, thinking to myself what a waste of time it was, and thinking of all the things I could be doing instead.

I stood up at the back at the class as these guys began their presentation. I suddenly realized that I had taken a seat and that they had a lot to say. And that what they were saying was quite interesting.

They were trying to motivate my students to become their better selves, no matter what they choose to do after finishing high school. The key word here is "choose".

Then, the speaker began telling them what sociologist named their generation.

This is where I took the title for today's reflexion.

This generation is called "generation next". Why?

Because nothing that they have or do is good enough. They are waiting for the next thing, the next job, the next relationship to be better. They are not willing to work hard on what they have to make it better. They are not willing to take care of their property, because they hope that the next one will be better. Not best, just better.

I was astounded of what I was listening. And surprised myself when I noticed myself nodding.

During my ride home, I was thinking: is this why there are so many divorces around? Because they are waiting for the next partner to be better, not even the one?

What are we teaching our teenagers? Are we teaching them that people are not things? That relationships are worth the effort?

Are we setting an example? In which way?
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Thursday, September 17, 2009

It is cold!

Heavy Rain ShowerImage by AlmazUK via Flickr

We are only in the middle of September, and the temperatures are dropping by the minute.

We've had a lot of rain since the beginning of the month, which is OK because we were not getting enough water, but since the rain began, summer ended.

As in the rest of the world, we are expecting a resurge of the AH1N1 virus to join the already dangerous seasonal flu virus.

The kids go to school so early in the morning that I feel sorry for them. I hate them leaving when it is still dark and when is so cold as today. I hope they don't get sick. It breaks my heart to see them feeling miserable.

Lets hope that the temperature rises a little bit before fall begins. If it doesn't, we may have a horrid winter.
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Monday, September 14, 2009

The difference

A teacher writing on a blackboard.Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever wondered why some countries have excellent education and others don't?

I believe that a very important part of the teaching process are the teachers.

I know that good students will do great wherever they are.

The difference between a good teacher and a bad teacher in a school setting is palpable. A good teacher will make his/her students become their better self. A bad teacher will not inspire his/her students to soar. They will just be happy to pass the subject and forget about it.

I have been a teacher for almost 19 years of my life. I have been teaching High School, Law School and Law in a Master's Program all those years.

In my Country, teachers do not make a lot of money. It is mainly the gratification to be able to share one's knowledge with others and what we learn from our students what matters.

Today, I got my first paycheck. It is an embarrassment for all paychecks.

I knew the money was not going to be much. But I feel insulted, having a Masters Degree, to get paid so little, less that $200.00 USD a month.

I spend 8 hours per week with my students. But for every hour I teach, I have to work a couple of hours at home.

Just a rant...
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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Love and Marriage

Magical White WeddingImage by ronsho © via Flickr

Yesterday, a dear friend of mine got married.

We weren't able to attend, but I was there in spirit, be sure of that.

This beautiful lady - inside and out - is full of love. The love she has for her children is palpable. The love she feels for her second daughter, Cheyenne, made her reach out to others through her grief and founded The MISS Foundation.

I am honored to know her five children. I am honored to know her. I am honored to call her friend. She is like a sister to me.

I know that D will make her happy. Who wouldn't be happy spending the rest of his life with such a caring, loving, compassionate lady?

Dearest Jo, may you and D find in each other your soul partner, may your lives be full of love and happiness. I love you dearly.
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Friday, September 11, 2009

September 11

The pre-9/11 skyline of Lower Manhattan, Augus...Image via Wikipedia

I think anyone who witnessed the attacks to the World Trade Center Towers in New York City will never forget.

We were at home, getting ready for our days. Our baby boy was a few months old and he was playing in his floor mat. I was already bathed and dressed. My dh was taking a shower. And we had the tv on.

At first, we saw fire on the tower. I was watching the news as they showed the second plane hitting the tower. I told my husband and he said that it was probably an accident. I believe we all thought that at first.

The truth was too horrible to be true.

I had support group meeting at 9:00am. So baby boy and I left. We continued to watch the tragedy on a tv that was on at the cafeteria we held our meeting.

The world we knew will never the same from that day forward.

Today, I hold those that lost family and friends on the attacks close to my heart. May they find the comfort and strength to live without the physical presence of their loved ones.

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

The MISS Foundation announces...


Calling all MISS parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends! Two new MISS Fundraisers are about to be launched, and we invite you to participate and please send this email to others and post it so that others may also participate!

First up:

MISSing Ingredients: A Re-member-ing Cookbook

MISS is creating a hard cover re-member-ing cookbook, and we need your
recipes and memories to be a part of this publication. The first 200
recipes and memories entered will be published.

Deadline for all submissions Monday, October 5, 2009,
unless the 200 maximum is reached prior to that date.

There is NO FEE to submit your recipe and memory!!

Recipe Submission Instructions:

1. Visit http://www.fundcraft.com
2. Enter WEB ID: 13500-09VA
(a password is not required)
3. Click on "Short/cut Online"
4. Select (2) in drop down for # of parts in multi-part recipe
5. Select menu category from drop down
6. Enter Recipe Title
7. Enter Ingredients
8. Enter Recipe directions in Method section
9. Title your Memory in the Part 2 Subheading
10. Skip Ingredients section of Part 2
11. Enter your dedication in the second Method section

Frustrated, confused, it just doesn't make sense???? Email your recipe and
memory to: kathy.sandler@missfoundation.org

The cookbook will be available for purchase and delivery in December, 2009, just in
time for holiday gift giving.

You can PRE-ORDER your copies now! Cookbooks will be mailed directly to you!
Visit the MISS Store at: http://missfoundation.org/miss_shop/index.html
Cost of cookbook: $15/copy + $5 s/h
(100% proceeds to benefit MISS Foundation)

For additional information and downloadable PDF flyer here:

Second up:

heARTwork for the Holidays- Home Art Fundraiser

MISS, in partnership with http://www.KidsKreations.us, is hosting a
heARTwork Home Art Fundraising campaign. Your heART creations are
transferred onto items like notebooks, coffee mugs, aprons, ornaments,
pillows, tote bags, laptop stickers and more. MISS receives 35% of

You create art on an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper, send heART and product order
form and check made out ot the MISS Foundation to either your support group
facilitator or to Kids Kreations by Friday, October 26, 2009. Your art will
beautifully transformed into a forever keepsake.

- Just is time for the holidays-

We invite both children and adults to explore one of the following themes:
What does your life look like now?
(new normal since the death of your child)
When I think of you...

Or... make a keepsake from your beloved child's footprint or handprint
(must be scanned and saved on disc as a graphic file like a jpg)

You can make artwork on your own or host a heArtwork night for your entire
MISS chapter.

All art and order forms must be submitted by Friday, October 23, 2009.

AND we are offering a challenge to each of our MISS chapters: The chapter
that sells the most heARTwork items will win credit towards scholarships to
the 2010 MISS Foundation Conference.

Have questions?? Call or email Kathy at 480-861-7511 or

For additional information please download full information flyer here:
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Monday, September 7, 2009

From my Life Quote of the Day Gadget

Fear No EvilImage by loswl via Flickr

People living deeply have no fear of death
~Anais Nin

Are you afraid of death?

What are you afraid of? Your own death or the death of a loved one?

I can honestly say that before my children died, I was terrified of my own death. I was scared of what would happen in the after life.

My perception of my own mortality changed with the tragedy of loosing my own children. I remember in my early grief wishing to go to sleep and never wake up. I wanted to die, not only to stop the horrible pain I was experiencing, but to join them, wherever they are.

I lost the fear of dying. What better gift to be reunited with those babies for ever?

The question arose: Was I absolutely sure I would join them?

That, among other considerations, stopped me for killing myself.

I knew then, that I had to make the most of the time I had left on this Earth in order to hug my children one more time, forever.

I have to life to the fullest. Making every second count. Being their voice in this life. In short: making them proud.

I do fear the death of those I love, but I have learned that I have no control over what may come.

I fear the pain, but I do not fear my grief, who has become a dear friend of mine.

What my children in heaven have taught me is to embrace life -with its happiness and its deep sorrow-, always to say "I love you" to those I love. To enjoy the sunrises and the sunsets I have the chance to witness. No matter what others might think, hug and kiss those I love.

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Friday, September 4, 2009

Lets talk food!

Fabada de Casa GerardoImage by jlastras via Flickr

I want to share with you the meal I fixed for my family today:


  • 1 lb alubias (Spanish white beans)
  • 1 lb pork meat
  • 1 lb beef meat
  • 1 lb chicken meat
  • 1/2 lb chorizo
  • 1/2 lb cured ham (if you get hold of serrano ham, it is much better)
  • 1 onion
  • 1 pinch of saffron (the Spanish spice you use to make paella)
  • 3-4 cloves of garlic
  • pepper corns
  • enough water

  • 1 big onion, diced
  • 2-3 cloves or garlic, minced
  • cilantro leaves, shredded
  • salt and pepper
  • olive oil
  • corn tortillas, heated

1. Clean and soak the alubias overnight in cold water
2. In a BIG pot, throw the rest of the ingredients and cover them with cold water. DO NOT add salt, because the ham and the chorizo are salty.
3. Heat and simmer for approximately 4 - 6 hours
4. When the meats are fork tender, take them out of the broth and let them cool down
5. Put the alubias in the broth and cook until tender.
6. Meanwhile, shred or cut the meat into fine strips.
7. In a pan, heat the olive oil, saute the onions until tender, add the garlic and the meat.
8 Add the cilantro leaves, and add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve the alubia soup as a first course and then serve the meat and the tortillas and watch your family enjoy your fabulous meal!
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Wednesday, September 2, 2009


brush drawing on blue primed paperImage via Wikipedia

Today I had the opportunity to withdraw from reality and the stress of daily life for a couple of hours and attend a spiritual retreat.

After Mass and before the Blessed Sacrament we had two meditations preached by a priest and by a female teacher.

She was talking about how many people live depressed and question their value as human beings and the meaning of their lives.

I am quite sure that all men and women, no matter their time and place, have asked what is the meaning of their lives.

How many times have you thought that your life is meaningless and that you have no importance at all? I know I have done it many times.

But, have you ever considered that you are so valuable, so precious, that Jesus loves you so deeply, that He gave his life for you? Yes, YOU!

He knows your heart to the core, He knows your defects and your virtues, He can see the depths of your soul... and still He loves you to death, literally!

No matter the creatives ways we use to ignore Him, He is always watching, waiting for us to open our hearts to Him. He is patient, He knows no time, He waits and waits, until one day, we turn our face towards Him and decide to open our hearts and souls to the only one that loves us unconditionally, in spite of ourselves.

Are you ready to let Him in?
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009


Profil d'un embryon de 14 semaines.Embryo at 1...Image via Wikipedia

Today is the first day of September.

Twelve yeas ago, I had been on bedrest for more than a couple of months. I was pregnant with our second child: a girl. As her brother died less than 6 months earlier, the dr decided that I was to be bed bound and taking a zillion hormones to help this little one grow.

I did all that the dr ordered. We were so looking forward to finally having a baby in our home.

But it didn't happen. At the end of August I began feeling "different". I called my dr and he said that I should not worry, that everything was OK. I finally got him to check on us on September 3rd.

I remember that day as if it was yesterday: lying on his stretcher, having an ultrasound done on my belly. Watching that beautiful baby, perfectly formed, completely immobile. I was in awe by her features. I didn't know I was supposed to watch her heart beating.

The dr told me to get dressed and that he would be in his office, ready to talk to us.

His words crashed our world for a second time: our baby was dead. As I write this, my chest gets tight and my breathing shallow.

Our beautiful baby girl was dead, I would never get the chance to hold her, to look into her eyes, to tell her I love her more than life itself.

Arrangements were made for me to get the hospital. I still get goose bumps as I felt my body betray me once again. I was my daughter's casket. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I could write a book on that horrible experience, minute by minute.

The fact is that I survived, we survived.

It was a couple of years later that I decided to be her voice, her siblings' voice. Their short lives matter. Their untimely deaths would impact the world we live in, one way or another.

I have to make sure I am able to hold them one day, I have to be my best self to get where they are: happy, loved and knowing no harm or pain.

Dearest Jo, until we meet again... Love, mommy
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